I Grieve for Those I Do Not Know

Anonymous

To my diary, 10 November 2023

“We are not alright”

Today was difficult. During one of my transfixed-on-TV-news periods, I hear this deeply upsetting call from a hospital in Gaza, from the chaos of the violent conflict in Israel-Palestine. This call is accompanied by flows of cruel and unforgiving imagery, from big picture to very personal grief; images of loss and desperation, of those who have died or those who are missing. It seems to be senseless, inexplicably inappropriate, such loss and grief. I grieve for those I do not know. This is my humanity -why can it do this?

It is so hard to find the empathy that we need, so hard to move forward from the personal pain of engagement. Nothing can at this moment replace the losses, fill the chasmic gaps in families that are suddenly so wide open.

Hatred of the ‘other’, antisemitism and islamophobia pervade our precious space crowding out humanity in the urgency to divide, to land blows on the ‘other’, to help with our sense-making, to assert our need for identity and belonging, our tribes

These are dreams that are shattered; hopes that have been dashed, buried under impersonal bombed concrete or by very personal savagery. The pain of the barbarism of 7th October has become less not more bearable because of the time and actions that have followed.

I am continually reminded how consequences matter, intended or not. Hate has escaped from its constraints, shaken off its shackles; I hear friends and those I love say terrible things about each other, and to and of me. Hatred of the ‘other’, antisemitism and islamophobia pervade our precious space crowding out humanity in the urgency to divide, to land blows on the ‘other’, to help with our sense-making, to assert our need for identity and belonging, our tribes. The consequence here in home terrain is scary. I see and feel the struggle in our multi-cultural, multi-faith neighbourhoods, the fragility of the cohesion and coherence that has served us well with the diversity that so enriches our humanity and should strengthen our resilience. For the moment that precious coexistence is at risk.

A close friend tells me of her struggle… During such times, I find my ability to stay calm and true to my values is really tested… this is both clear and real for me. It is my struggle too.

And we are not alright

This text is part of the anthology Reflections on US! compiled by researchers at Coventry University, The full volume can be downloaded here.